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 Help! My daughter just had a birthday and got presents from her friends. Her sister wants to play with them, but the birthday girl insists they are just for her and no one else. I would like for her to share but she does have a point, they were given to her and not her sister. My Mother in law thinks I should buy new toys for my other daughter too so she isn't jealous. That seems like an expensive solution. Also, I am not sure that's teaching a reasonable life lesson! They are just getting old enough to squabble about it, and with many birthdays in our future, how can I make it work for both girls?
 I can tell you flat out, even if you do buy your other daughter new toys, they will still squabble! We had this same problem occur on Christmas day when my older boys were small. There were presents all over the floor, new toys, new books, new slippers that barked like a dog. No matter what, one kid always seemed to want what the other had, yet, that kid refused to let it go because of the hard and fast “MINE!” rule of toddlers. On that day a decree came from on high, yes, mommy made a new rule! New toys are the sole property of the recipient for 24 hours. In that first 24 hours they can play and not have to share it with anyone. If they do share it, and suddenly want it back, they get it back immediately. However, after 24 hours the toy becomes property of the house and must be shared following the usual house rules. Exceptions are made for loveys and blankets and bedtime toys that are special to the owner. As the kids have gotten older, exceptions have also been made for very expensive items, like the Lego robot kit, or the fancy pocket game system. Those have their own special protected category. Overseen by a parent, the younger kids can play, but otherwise they are only for the older kids to use. The rule, made up in the heat of a screaming toddler war, has lasted us almost 10 years now!

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