The bathroom battle is one I have fought first hand so I know the struggle you're facing. You can't always take an older boy into the ladies room without some odd looks and you can't just go barging into the men's room without turning some heads. You want to give your kids the opportunity to be independent but you know the dangers and the average 6 year old doesn't. The good news is there are ways to make this a transition that works for everyone.

1) Frequent stores and restaurants that have family bathrooms where you can haul everyone in and lock the door, or 'single seater' bathrooms that you can safely let you son enter alone. Let your money talk, and be sure to drop a comment card in the box telling the store that you appreciate the family friendly facilities, or if they don't have them, that you'll be shopping from now on in stores that provide them.

2) Use the buddy system. Let 2 boys go in together with strict instructions to STAY TOGETHER and not talk to anyone. A kid with a buddy is safer than a kid alone.

3) Get over the taboo of the men's room. It's not a mystical portal where women cannot pass; it's just a door with a little stick figure on it! You Can open it and I promise, no lightning will strike! If you're in a place where you feel the bathroom is probably safe, stick your head in and see if it's empty. If it is, let him go in and just wait near the door. It's a good idea to open the door a crack now and then and ask if he's ok, simply because some doors are very heavy and a little 6 year old might get stuck on the other side, unable to pull it open. It also gives the very clear signal to any weirdoes nearby that your son is not unattended. If there are men in the room, let your son in but keep your foot in the door. Keep an ear to any conversation and be quick to pipe in with "you ok hon? I'm right here if you need anything!" if you feel it's needed. I know one mom that has her son sing a simple song while he's in the bathroom. If he stops singing, he knows she will burst through the door to check on him. The embarrassment of having mom come running in and make a scene is worse than the embarrassment of singing in the public bathroom! I any case, if you are ever concerned by the situation, men's room or not, full of grown men or not, walk in! Holler "MOM COMING IN!" and just go! Your child safety is more important and it's not like you are unfamiliar with the plumbing!

4) In a place where you just don't feel the men's room is safe for your son, insist that he come in the ladies room with you. He might not like it but let him know that coming with you when you say it's necessary is part of the deal that includes him using the men's room alone in other places. If he can't come with you to the ladies room without argument then he loses his right to use the men's room alone until he understands the risks. Use the handicapped stall to keep the younger kids with you if you need to go, but let your oldest go into a stall by himself. If you are still concerned about him being unattended, tell him to stay in his locked stall until you are out of yours so you are sure he's not running around or peeking under doors! I have hauled my older boys into the ladies room with me in many places and never have I had a problem with other women being upset. Similarly, I have marched into men's rooms to retrieve a sick child or help with a zipper or simply yanked a misbehaving kid out of the room. No reasonable adult is going to argue since clearly, the safety of our children is important!

Eventually, you will learn to trust you son and his skills in the bathroom alone. You'll know that he doesn't talk to people and hands, etc and in time he will be old enough, and trusted enough, to use the bathroom by himself without it making you sick with worry. Unfortunately, no matter how much lead you give them or how well you watch over them, insane things can still happen. I let 2 of my boys (then 8 and 6) into an empty men's room while I stood outside. The model of safety, right? They were using the buddy system, the bathroom was empty AND I was right outside the door! Somehow, we ended that shopping trip with one kids bleeding from the mouth while we made a furious dash to the dentist office to fix the teeth that somehow got whacked into the sink! Both boys were on a short leash, and back in the ladies room with me for a while! As parents it is our job to worry and fuss over our kids. Letting them take those flapping tumbles out of the nest is as hard on us as it is on them, maybe harder. It's still necessary though, if we want to raise self sufficient, self confident and successful kids. I'd like to say there is a cut off age where we can just stop being parental and doting and stop worrying but I suspect there is not. A while ago, my old brother (Radiator Boy) was visiting my parents and stopped at the store to buy some new shoes. While my 40-something brother was walking around to try them out, my 60-something dad told him to stop so he could check the toe!