Potty training for my kids fell into a couple of different categories. There was what I did with the first one, and what I did with the others and then what I did at home and what I did when we were out. With my first child it was the usual potty training regime. I sat on the floor next to the potty and coaxed and cajoled my son into going potty on command in exchange for a bribe of candy or stickers. We had potties of all shapes and sizes, we read books, we watched videos, we sang songs. Even with all of that, said child wasn't completely out of diapers until well past 3. There were just some things that he wasn't ready to do until he was taller and older and not so afraid of the big loud white tornado in a bowl! Eventually, he got over his fear and with the possibility of preschool for potty trained boys, he gave up his one diaper a day. Until he was ready and it was his choice, any pressure we put on him simply stressed him out and frustrated the grown ups. For the most part, he was well trained at home, happy to use the facilities that he was used to and he stayed dry 100% of the time at home even without a diaper or training pants. Even the kids that came after him had similar starts to training, usually no pants or loose shorts around the house and a lot of chances to be reminded what happens if you don't get to the potty in time. I had a handy supply of old towels and a carpet cleaner. When there was an accident I wouldn't scold, I'd just get them to help me clean up and put their wet clothes in the washer. Successful attempts got praise and cheers, occasionally stickers but not the over the top begging and bribing I did with the oldest.

My oldest was also the kid that I did the typical "mad dash" with around the grocery store and other public places when he announced he had to go! When he was my only child it wasn't so bad to bolt out of line and head to the bathroom, navigate the public restroom while trying to keep his hands clean, take down his pants, hold him over the bowl, begging him to hurry up while my back ached. That's what parents do, right? It worked for a little while...until I got pregnant with baby #2! It was hard to do the mad dash at a gravid waddle, it was harder still to cram a squirming toddler and a huge pregnant belly into a restroom stall and it was just impossible to help hold that squirmy toddler safely over the bowl without rupturing something important. Eventually with that pregnancy I separated my pelvis and could barely walk let alone lift anything heavier than my own abdomen. After the baby was born, all the woes of pregnancy were gone but there is still no way to cram everyone into a bathroom stall and help the tap dancing toddler while also holding a newborn! The mad dash was officially canceled! Thankfully, by that time my oldest was able to navigate the bathroom on his own. I stayed outside the stall door for moral support and there was no more lifting or undressing involved.

This of course, brings us to the eventual "what I did out of the house" regime. The younger kids never got the over the top potty party. When they were home they were encouraged to try, to be naked if needed or wear loose clothing and simply help when there were accidents. When we went out I put a diaper on them. If we were shopping and he announced "I have to go potty!" I'd simply remind him that he had on a diaper and was free to do so. I'd change him in the car later, or if he could hold it a few more minutes, we had a potty chair in the car. No more public restrooms! The amount of nods and giggles I got from other moms told me I wasn't the only one that was reluctant to make the big switch to underpants! The potty in the car was in the back seat, on the floor and I'd line it with a plastic bag and a small diaper to absorb the pee. I'd open the door, put any little babies into their car seats and then help the trainer with the potty chair. If I stood in front of the door no one could see in and they were below the level of the windows so it was a pretty private affair. The clean up was simple, just tie up the bag and tote it home or toss it in a trash can.

So, all in all I was pretty laid back about potty training. My oldest taught me that no amount of bribing or begging is going to make it go any faster and the more you fuss and worry over it, the more everyone gets frustrated and unhappy. The change of attitude caused an odd role reversal though. Instead of me sitting on the floor with a handful of M&M's, coaxing and pleading like the first time, my younger kids were the ones doing the pleading! They wanted to be diaper free and had to ask and show me they were ready to be really reliable out of the house! They Begged for underpants! How easy is that?