3s are amazing kids. Still little enough to be babies in many ways, yet big enough to start having wants and needs of their own. Their personality is beginning to solidify and they are becoming small, independent people! Unfortunately, there comes a price with that growth! The price tag is the inability to limit their world as much as you did before. When they were 2, they learned the power of NO and that saying NO could get them other things. Most smart parents realized quickly that avoiding yes or no questions sidestepped the whole issue and kept baby on schedule and in control. By 3, baby has hooked up another million brain connections and has found that there is life BEYOND A or B! What used to be a simple "would you like to go to bed now, or in 10 minutes?" now has answers outside Now and 10 minutes. You could get "one more book" or "glass of water" or a thousand other possibilities besides now and 10 minutes! The favoritism is an outcropping of this same stage. Baby is LOVING the new power of choices and playing he choice card whenever possible. If baby loves bath time and wants to take a bath, she might not argue over "bath with water or with bubbles?" because either is fine, but "Daddy give me bath!!" might be fun! Similarly, "No, I want mommy!" is a fun choice because not only does it change the routine, it gets daddy to make that sad face and try a little harder to make her happy, same with mommy. What power for someone so small!

So, now we know why it's happening, what can we do to make it less frequent? First, offer the option when it's possible. Let baby chose if mommy or daddy reads books tonight, or whom she gets to sit next to at dinner. When the other parent isn't available, tell her as much and fall back to the yes or no tactics and stick to it. "I'm sorry, daddy can't read to you tonight, do you want to read A or B? Honey, I don't understand, A or B, daddy is not A or B." Do not tolerate rudeness under any circumstances. It's ok to want that other parent, but if baby is on a big daddy kick, she should still be polite and respectful of mommy and vice versa. If baby is snuggling up to daddy and makes a cranky face at mommy, daddy should step in and remind her to be polite and help her apologize. If baby is just hollering for daddy while mommy's trying to put on the pajamas, mommy can remind baby that using a nice voice might actually get daddy to come, where yelling will simply get her in timeout. If there is a household punishment for rudeness or disrespect, both parents should hold firm and dole out that punishment. The goal is to remind baby that while choices are fun and it's exciting to have control over their life, it is never ok to use that power to hurt another family member. You might want to take a look at the book "The Magic Years" on the recommends page. It's a great book for understanding what's going on in those little minds!