First and foremost, I have a child with a sensory integration problem that has made him a very picky eater. My advice is probably not what you'll hear from other people with "normal" picky eaters! I don't think you should make him go hungry until he eats what you give him or that he should have to sit there till he's done. I've been down that road and it doesn't work. I think the ideal solution is one that works for all of you and I think you'll only introduce bad habits by making mealtime miserable for all involved by forcing some arbitrary rule about how and when he should eat. I'd start by finding foods that he likes and he can feed himself and making him a little personal snack tray. An ice cube tray works great though with my house full we often use the big Tupperware party tray! Fill each hole with something he likes and leave it at his level where he can reach it and snack at his leisure. Keep busy so he can't ask you to feed him, and let him play with it and explore. Make up some fun eating games. My kids like to fish for goldfish using a pretzel rod with peanut butter on it. They'd dip into the peanut butter then into the goldfish crackers and then eat their "catch." Play a game where you feed him, then he feeds you, slip in an occasional you feed you and he feeds himself. If he isn't hungry and doesn't want to sit at the table for dinner, don't force him to. If he insists on being fed, you can insist that he sit at the table with you, once he gets down, you won't serve him. Ask him to help you by putting his bite on the fork and handing the fork to you to feed to him. When he's good at that, offer to put the bite on the fork for him and have him feed himself. Make a big fuss and praise him when he does feed himself, try to be neutral when he doesn't. Clearly, he enjoys the nurturing and attention he gets by making you feed him, who wouldn't! Just take small steps to encourage the behavior you do want, and give him the positive attention when he feeds himself. Talk to his day care providers and explain to them what you are doing and ask for their help in getting him to feed himself. Chances are he eats fine for them and is saving his high needs dining for you!