How soon and how much you tell your child will depend on his or her age. For toddlers, you want to wait until it's very close because they don't have the ability to gauge time past "tomorrow" like an adult can. Older kids will notice things sooner and will probably ask questions and you can share as much about the situation as you feel comfortable. You may want to consider setting a limit on WHERE to talk about the logistics of pregnancy and keep the discussions confined to that place. Even a very innocent discussion with a toddler can lead to some very embarassing questions out in public so rather than turning 9 shades of purple when your darling blurts "I know the doctor helps get the baby out, but how did it get in there in the first place?" you can simply say "Remember, mommy will answer all those questions AT HOME!" There are lots of books out about new babies and siblings and I recommend hitting the library and getting several. I really love Mr. Rogers "The New Baby" because in addition to the fun things about having a new baby that most books talk about, he's pretty up front about some of the low points too, that babies cry and don't really play yet and that it's normal and ok to feel jealous or sad or left out and that no matter how you feel, mom and dad still love you very much too! My kids also enjoyed funny books about pregnancy like "Before You Were Born, a lift the flap book" that showed a cartoon baby doing silly things in utero. Preparing for baby is also a good time to start working on the rivalry. I spent a lot of time going back through old pictures and videos and showing my kids what they were like as babies and reminding them that they were held and cuddled and fed and were very needy little guys that got a lot of attention. I made it pretty clear that having a new baby wasn't always easy and that the baby would need a lot of care and attention because that's just how babies are and that is how they were when they were babies. When we'd see families out and about I'd say, "see how the dad had to carry the baby? He's a good daddy. We'll have to carry our baby a lot too." Or "That baby is crying because he's hungry. Our baby will cry but mommy will try not to let him get that hungry before she feeds him!" I explained that it wasn't forever, just for a little while. We also tried to make new fun plans for the older child, a right of passage that is special and only for "big brothers" so they could be proud of their new status as well. One kid wanted karate lessons, one wanted a new computer game, and one wanted a party! One thing I was careful Not to do, was suggest that the older child had to be responsible for the baby. I would tell them that they could play with the baby *if they wanted to* or they could help me change diapers *if they wanted to* etc so they never had to feel resentful that not only was the baby hogging my attention, but they had to fetch and carry for it as well! I also told my kids a little secret, that while newborns are pretty helpless, the can be taught to stick out their tongue! I explained that if someone, say a big brother, were to sit in front of the baby and stick his tongue out over and over, the baby would begin to repeat! I suggested how funny it would be if our baby could do that! Sure enough, one of the first bonding moments with all my kids was the older one sitting patiently in front of the bouncy chair sticking their tongue out over and over! As they get older I try to provide times when the kids get to team up against me (say on a video game, or a race to pick up all the trash on the living room floor!) so they learn to work together for a common goal. I also model good manners and expect them to be polite and respectful to each other and to me, even if they are quarrelling. While I can't say my kids never fight, I can say honestly that when my last one was born, my 2 oldest used to fight over who's turn it was to make her laugh! My second cried when I wouldn't let him bring his baby sister to preschool for show and tell! When my 3rd was born, the oldest was in the delivery room and cut the cord and declared it HIS baby and his best friend forever! The best thing though is to see the kids playing together. When one kid falls or gets hurt, one of the others will run in and help them up and brush them off, etc because that's just how you treat your family! (All the books are easily available on the GoodJoan recommends page)